Give names to the different people you have inside you

If you think the title of this post is strange, I agree with you. I chose it is because I want to get across the following concept: We humans have many different aspects to or parts of our personalities. One part may be shy, another may be curious, another pensive, etc. I sometimes call those parts “people.” In this post, I’m going to use those three labels (aspects, parts, and people) interchangeably.

Now that you know what I mean about the different “people” inside you, I want to let you know that naming the “people” inside them has helped many of my clients heal a lot of their depression and anxiety –  and it can do the same for you.

I’m sure you know that we consider some of the “people” we have inside us to be positive. Your positive “people” could include a generous one, a brave one, or a smart one. Other “people” inside us, which could include a fearful one, a depressed one, a forgetful one, or an anxious one, we think of as negative.

As I’m sure you know, those so called negative “people” often cause problems in our lives. Among other things, they can make relationships difficult, they can make family life very unpleasant or worse, and they can take a big toll on our health. But what I’ve observed is that the reason they do that is not because they’re negative. Happy, successful people generally have just as many negative “people” inside them as those who aren’t happy and successful.

So if the reason that some people are happy and others are depressed or anxious is not because they have significantly different parts, then what’s the reason for the difference?

While there are usually several reasons for the difference, one of the most important is that people who are depressed or anxious think that that part of themselves is who they really are, while people who are happy and successful know that they too have a depressed part, an anxious part, and other negative parts. But they don’t think of themselves as being those parts.

With that in mind, a powerful way to heal depression and anxiety is to become aware of the fact that you have positive parts (or “people” inside) as well as the negative ones. And a good way to do that is to give the different “people” inside of yourself names.

You can give them names that feel right to you. You might want to call the curious part (if you have one) “Curie” and the depressed part “Deppy.” You get to decide.

As I said above, naming the different “people” inside helps you remember that even when you’re feeling depressed or anxious, you still have those positive parts (“people”). And when you give those so called negative “people” names, you can have conversations with them, and ask them if there are things they need from you that they’re not getting.

Those needs vary widely from person to person. For some it might be to have more fun, for others it might be to get more sleep or to spend some quiet time alone.

When we give those “negative” parts of ourselves what they need, they are usually very appreciative and stop taking up such a big piece of our lives.

Now that you know the benefits, I hope you will go name the different “people” inside you and then come back here and share your results in a comment.

For more ways to heal your depression and anxiety, get my free report: 10 Little-Known but Powerful Ways to Heal Depression and Anxiety by clicking here.

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You’re wiser than you think

Yes, you really are wiser than you think. In this post, I’m going to tell you how you can use that wisdom to both heal and overcome your depression or anxiety (or both if you have both).

But before I do that, I need to explain a little bit about the process of healing and overcoming depression and anxiety. The healing process consists of two main parts. The first is getting understanding, caring, and compassion. It’s an essential part, and it’s a large percentage of the value that good therapists and psychologists provide to their clients.

The second part of the healing process is determining the specific changes you need to make and the steps you need to take to make your life better. Depending on your situation, some of those steps could be saying things you haven’t said to people in your life. They could be finding things to do you enjoy and finding people to do them with. Or they could be improving your skills and getting a job you like, or at least don’t hate.

Your wisdom will play a crucial role as you tackle those two parts of the healing process. You may not believe that you have it, but I assure you that you do. You just need to access it. And a very effective way to do that is to imagine that right now you don’t have any depression or anxiety, but that someone you care a lot about does.

That person can be a child (and you can imagine that he or she is now an adult and that their situation and challenges are similar to yours). Or that person can be a spouse, a partner, or a close friend. He or she can be anyone you care a lot about.

Imagine being with that person. Because of your wisdom of understanding what it is like to live with depression or anxiety, you would know what it’s like for her. Knowing what she was going through, you would feel compassion. And by showing her that understanding and compassion, you would help her (or him) in the first part of the healing process.

It’s often hard for us to see clearly what we need to do for the second part of the healing process, but when it’s someone else we can usually see things they can do to make their lives better. So continue to imagine that you no longer have depression or anxiety, but someone you care a lot about does. And think about steps they could take and things they could do to make their life better. Those could be some of the things I wrote about above, or they could be completely different. Write all your ideas down.

Finally, decide which of the things you wrote down is the best one to do first, and do it. And acknowledge and thank yourself for doing this exercise. You’ve accessed more of your wisdom and you’ve taken a significant step toward healing your depression or anxiety.

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